Lady Gaga recounts her ordeal of abuse



The first episode of the docuseries that he Prince harry Y Oprah Winfrey made for Apple+, The Me You Can’t See, has given much to talk about. Although it has been the Duke of Sussex with his statements who has monopolized the headlines, they had the participation of other celebrities, who spoke openly about the challenges they have faced in terms of mental health. Among them was Lady Gaga, who frankly spoke of one of the most complicated episodes of his life, which has had consequences up to this moment and the constant work he has had to do to combat the pain.

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With an open heart, the singer recalled in the interview: “I was 19 years old and working in the industry and the producer told me: ‘Take off your clothes.’ And I said no and left, and they told me they were going to burn all my music. They did not stop. They didn’t stop asking me, and I just froze… and I don’t even remember… “, between tears she continued:”And I’m not going to say his name. I understand this #MeToo movement, I understand that some people are very comfortable with this, but I am not. I never want to see that person again”.

Although I was very young when this happened, the aftermath has not gone away: “Years later I went to the hospital and they brought a psychiatrist and I said: ‘Bring me a real doctor, why do you bring a psychiatrist if I can’t feel my body?’ . First I felt total pain and then numbness and then I was ill for weeks and weeks and I realized that it was the same pain that I felt when the person who raped me got me pregnant in a corner, at my parents’ house, because I was vomiting. They had abused me, locked in a studio for months. “

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“I want to be able to tell everyone seeing that now I wipe my tears and move on, and that you can come out in front of something like this. But when (something) hits you really hard, it can change you. I couldn’t feel anything, I disassociated myself, my brain turned off but you are in a sense of ultra paranoia ”. Faced with this experience, he continued explaining what he experienced, “I had a total psychotic break, and for a couple of years, I was not the same girl. The way I feel when I am in pain is how I felt after being raped. I’ve had so many MRIs and X-rays where they find nothing. But your body remembers ”.

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On how she has fought against this feeling, Gaga explained: “It is a real thing to feel like you have a black cloud following you wherever you go, telling you that you are worth nothing and you must die. I used to scream and throw myself against the wall, and you know why it is not good to cut yourself, throw you against the wall or hurt you because it makes you feel worse. “

Little by little it gets better

Although from the outside it may seem that he is better, Stefani confesses that not everything is so easy: “Even if I have six brilliant months, all I need is something to shoot me once to feel bad. And when I say that I feel bad, it means that (I) want to cut. I think about dying. I wonder if I ever will. I’ve learned all the ways to get out of it. ” The singer said that she has learned to rationalize the ideas of hurting herself, “You think you will feel better teaching someone: ‘Look, it hurts.’ It doesn’t help ”. Even in the most important and public moments of her life, Gaga has been struggling with this pain, “Everything started to change little by little, it took two and a half years to get out of it. At the time I won the Oscar, nobody knew! “

For those who are going through something similar, he said: “It is so important to surround yourself with at least one person who validates you. There is a way to self-regulate… If I focus and start, ‘ok, I’m going to wake up and go to therapy or meditate or thank and I’m going to move my body and eat and do things that I know are healthy for my body. If I do enough of these steps, I will move on. ‘ I start, ‘Stefani, be brave, you have to be braver.’ And then before I know it, I’m standing in my garden and I know, ‘Ok, I’m back.’ Of course, the singer made it clear that there is no easy path and it is a constant work to be able to get ahead.

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